Toxic Positivity Is Not the Vibe
“Give yourself permission to feel.” - me to me, and me to you
I love following “self-care” and “self-love” accounts on social media.
You know the ones: they encourage you to love your body, lean into joy, and embrace who you are.
But you’re also bound to find tons of graphics and captions with “Good vibes only” or “Don’t dwell on the bad stuff.”
And these, in my opinion, fall under the “toxic positivity” camp aka something I try my best to avoid.
But what is toxic positivity, and why did its portrayal in the Pixar film Inside Out frustrate me to no end (in a good way)? Let’s talk.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
According to Very Well Mind, toxic positivity is defined as “the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset.”
To take it a step further, “toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme…it minimizes and denies any trace of human emotions that aren’t strictly happy or positive.”
Inside Out: Toxic Positivity on Display
Inside Out follows the emotions — Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust — of a young girl named Riley who’s moved to a new city with her family.
“Am I…a snowflake?” I wondered as I found myself continuously frustrated with Joy (voiced by Amy Poehler), aka the embodiment of toxic positivity.
Throughout the film, Joy frequently dismisses Sadness, and thinks being happy will solve all of Riley’s problems.
It happens so often in society — especially when we’re younger. Emotions like fear, anger, and sadness are portrayed in a “negative” light, and we’re told not to cry, to keep our chin up, to stop being so angry.
And while joy plays an important role in our happiness, it’s not the only emotion that matters.
Instead, there’s room for them all.
I believe that anger can be used to defend ourselves. It lets us know what our boundaries are. It shows us where our passions lay.
I believe sadness can be used to help us grieve and process change. It helps us be more vulnerable and empathetic.
I believe fear can be used to push us out of our comfort zones. It can also protect us, and keep us out of harm’s way.
Going off this idea, I think our basic emotions aren’t inherently “good” or “bad.”
Instead, it’s how we navigate our emotions, how we listen (or don’t listen) to them, and how we let them influence our actions.
NOTE: In the case of mental illnesses, which can include depression, anxiety, or addiction, I don’t think it’s as simple as “listen to your emotions; feel your feelings.” I am not a mental health professional, but if you need support, here are some resources:
Canadian Crisis Hotline: 1-888-353-2273
National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US): 1-800-273-8255
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