How to Find Your Person

“Look in the mirror.” - me to me, and me to you

How do you find your person? 

Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. 

Love is all around us: it’s in movies and music. It’s in poems and books. 

It’s in excitement and nerves. 

It’s in joy and anger.

It’s in confidence and insecurity.

It’s in comfort and heartbreak. 

Love, it’s all around us. 

I’m a sucker for cheesy romcoms, romance books, and even reality TV shows about love.

I think romantic relationships are beautifully complex – whether they last forever or are simply a chapter in our lives.

⁠But we’ve been conditioned to believe that there's someone in the universe who will be everything to us, and make us feel whole.⁠

And as we grow, we subconsciously search for this person. We crush. We fall in love. We break up. We build walls. We reflect. We grow. We try again. ⁠

But what if we were taught that we can't find everything in one person? And we can't be everything to one person?⁠

What if we were taught to be our own soulmates, too?  

The concept of “Prince Charming” was first introduced to me via the Disney movies I watched as a child.

And each film always ended with the princess finding her “happily ever after” by falling in love with a man.

This isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with wanting to find love.

With wanting to get married.

With wanting a “happily ever after” – I’d be a hypocrite to pretend otherwise.

But what if I had grown up watching protagonists who learned to love themselves, trust themselves, and forge their own paths — irrespective of a love interest?

We are so much more than who we are (or aren’t) dating, sleeping with, or married to.

What would the world look like if we were taught to be our own soulmates, too?

This interview with Eartha Kitt challenges what we’re taught about relationships.